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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26124862">You’re just like a dream</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/morereese/pseuds/morereese'>morereese</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bill Denbrough Loves Mike Hanlon, Bill Denbrough is a Mess, Bill Denbrough-centric, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Falling In Love, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, M/M, Minor Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mutual Pining, Neglect, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, but they killed the clown the first time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:40:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,491</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26124862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/morereese/pseuds/morereese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“All of us not hanging out together for a week and a half was weird.” Ben said, “And boring.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Mike said, putting a tape in the boombox, pressing play. He sat down on the swing and rested his head against one of the ropes, his temple pressed against his knuckles. </p><p>God, I want to kiss you.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bill Denbrough &amp; Mike Hanlon, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You’re just like a dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW// for mentions of child neglect</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> July 16th, 1991 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill let his head fall against the window as they drove back to Derry, rock music playing through his headphones. He just turned his tape over, and this drive back was taking forever. He didn’t want to go to sleep, because he wanted to be awake when they got back, because he knew if he went to sleep, he’d want to go straight to bed when they got home. It was still pretty early, only around noon, but he was already tired from sitting still for so long.</p><p> </p><p>“Mom, can you t- tuh- turn the air up? It’s hot.” He said, and his mother turned the air up a little.</p><p> </p><p>Acadia National Park, south of Derry, almost two hours away. Car rides back always went by faster, but not this one. For once, he wanted to go back to Derry, and it was like Derry was running away.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to see Mike. He wanted to see the other losers. He wanted to see the people he loved the most.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to see <em> Mike</em>.</p><p> </p><p>He told Mike he’d be coming back today, a week and a half vacation, a week and a half away from his friends. </p><p> </p><p>He was anticipating going to Mike’s farm whenever they got back. That’s what he looked forward to the most, really. He felt a little guilty about not wanting to see his other friends as much as he wanted to see Mike, but who could blame him?</p><p> </p><p>Truth is, he’d always felt a little different about Mike. Always got a little tingly all over whenever Mike was around. His stutter always flared up a bit more whenever Mike talked to him. He figured it was just because Mike was one of his best friends, and that most people got that reaction when they were excited to see their best friend, but he thought a little about it, and maybe he didn’t think of Mike as just his best friend. Maybe he thought of him as something more.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as they were home he tried to carry as many of his things inside as he could in one trip, which ended in him tripping through the door frame and dropping most of it. He left it there and sprinted to the garage, hoping on Silver and trying to steady her as fast as possible. </p><p> </p><p>He was out of breath by the time he made it to the Hanlon’s farm, getting off his bike and leaving it in the front yard. He caught his breath as he speed-walked to the front door and knocked on it, resting his hand against the door frame.</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Hanlon opened the door, smiling as she saw Bill. “Hey, Bill. Did you come over for Mike?” </p><p> </p><p>“Y- yuh- yeah. Is he here?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s out back. Probably finishing up in the garden.” She said, and jerked her thumb back over her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Th- thank you.” He said, and hopped off the porch, running around the house. </p><p> </p><p>Mike was standing up, knocking the dirt off his hands and wiping some on his jeans. Bill called his name and he looked over, a smile taking over his face. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> God, his smile. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill melted inside, meeting Mike halfway and falling into his arms. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Big Bill.” Mike said, squeezing him tight. “How was your vacation?”</p><p> </p><p>“It was good. Mm- muh- missed y- you, though.” </p><p> </p><p><em> Fuck, I didn’t mean to say that</em>. </p><p> </p><p>“You missed me?” Mike asked, pulled back to look at Bill, smiling like he was amused.</p><p> </p><p>“Just a luh- luh- little bit…” He blushed, looking to the grass and covering his face with his hand. </p><p> </p><p>“I missed you, too, Bill.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill's eyes went wide and he flushed down his neck. He tried his hardest to suppress his smile, but it was no use. God, Mike just made him feel all types of things. He’d never had anyone making him blush like that by just saying they missed him, too.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you w- wuh- want to go s- s- see the other losers with mm- muh- me?” Bill asked, and Mike nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Let me go tell ma i’m headed out.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill followed Mike around the house, watching closely at how Mike’s arms swung at his sides. He wanted so bad to just reach forward and take Mike’s hand, slide his fingers between Mike’s, but he couldn’t. There was no way he was going to fuck their friendship up.</p><p> </p><p>Mike opened the door to yell, “Ma, i’m gonna go out! I’ll be back in a little while!”</p><p> </p><p>“You better be back before sunset!” She hollered back, and he closed the door.</p><p> </p><p>They went to Stan’s house, first. Bill knocked on the front door of the Uris household and Andrea, Stan’s mother, opened the door. She gave Bill a smile as he asked for Stan, and she called him down. He greeted them both with a hug, asking Bill how his vacation went, and asking Mike how his mom was doing. </p><p> </p><p>The next person they went to pick up was Ben, who was sitting on his front porch, reading a book. He was always either reading or playing his Game Boy<em>. </em></p><p> </p><p>They went to Richie’s house next, but he wasn’t home, so they went ahead to Eddie’s house, and he wasn’t home, either. They continued to Beverly’s apartment complex, and since she lived on the other side of town, they all always went in a group to pick her up, and then they went on to the Barrens. </p><p> </p><p>Bill just figured that they would just have to hang out without Richie and Eddie today, that maybe Richie and Eddie would come and find them in the clubhouse since they knew Bill came back from vacation today. But when they went down into the clubhouse, Richie and Eddie were already there, sitting beside each other with a little distance between them, looking up at the club entrance with wide eyes and red faces.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Big Bill. How was your vacation?” Richie asked, a little too loud, rushed. </p><p> </p><p>“F- f- fine.” Bill said, hopping off the ladder and knocking his hands together. “How w- wuh- was it without me? I b- buh- bet it w- wuh- was boring.” </p><p> </p><p>“No, yeah, man. It was <em> so </em>boring here without you. Nothing happened, at all. Nothing.” Richie rambled.</p><p> </p><p>“Beep-beep, Richie.” Eddie mumbled, smacking Richie on the thigh lightly.</p><p> </p><p>“R- right.” Bill said, sitting down in the hammock and pulling out a comic as everyone else climbed down the ladder. </p><p> </p><p>“Your ten minutes start now, Bill.” Beverly said, pulling out a fashion magazine from the collection they worked up. </p><p> </p><p>“All of us not hanging out together for a week and a half was weird.” Ben said, “And boring.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Mike said, putting a tape in the boombox, pressing play. He sat down on the swing and rested his head against one of the ropes, his temple pressed against his knuckles. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> God, I want to kiss you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill forced himself to tear his eyes away, looking down at his comic, shifting in the hammock, the urge to look at Mike crawling beneath his skin. He brought the comic up to cover his face, which was probably red, blocking his view of Mike, so he wouldn’t look at him.</p><p> </p><p>The one person’s face that he had a clear view of was Stan’s, and he was smirking and wiggling his eyebrows, jerking his head towards Mike. </p><p> </p><p>Bill held back a smile and turned away, pressing the comic to his face to block everyone’s faces out.</p><p> </p><p>“My turn, Bill! Get your ass up.” Richie said, hopping up from his seat and rubbing his hands together. </p><p> </p><p>“I d- don’t even know w- wuh- why you like th- this stu- stupid hammock so muh- much anyway.” Bill mumbled, putting the comic back with the collection. Richie slapped his hand down on his shoulder and sat down in the hammock, crossing his ankles and grabbing a comic.</p><p> </p><p>Bill waved Eddie over and sat down a little ways from the other losers, waiting for Eddie to sit down beside him.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, E- E- Eddie.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hi, Bill. How was your vacation? Your ma doing better?” Eddie said, and Bill shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Still wo- won’t talk to mm- muh- me. It’s fine, tho- though. I get it.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie frowned and wrapped an arm around him, squeezing him softly. There was a comfortable silence between them, in their little bubble. They didn’t talk, because the silence and Eddie’s embrace spoke louder than words. Eddie kissed Bill’s cheek, giving him a small smile. </p><p> </p><p>“C- c- can I ask you something?” </p><p> </p><p>“Sure.” Eddie said, removing his arm from around Bill and leaning away into his own space again.</p><p> </p><p>“Do y- you and Richie have s- suh- something going on? You two suh- seem closer than usual.” Bill asked, quietly, scooting in closer to Eddie so no one else would hear.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked panicked, a blush spreading across his cheeks. He glanced over to Richie, his teeth catching his lip. “Promise not to tell anyone?” </p><p> </p><p>Bill nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re boyfriends, now. Been together for a week.” </p><p> </p><p>“<em>A week?! </em>And no one told me?” Bill whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“You weren’t here. What was I supposed to do?” Eddie knocked his shoulder into Bill’s just as Richie began to whine for Eddie to cuddle with him, putting his comic over his face and going limp in the hammock. “That’s my que. Talk to you later, Bill.” </p><p> </p><p>Bill was left to watch as Eddie crawled on top of Richie, laying his head on his chest. Richie positioned himself so they could both have their arms around each other, limbs tangled, looking completely content and satisfied.</p><p> </p><p>He wondered why he and Mike couldn’t be like that. They probably <em> could</em>, but he knew he’d begin to think about his hopeless crush on him and grow uncomfortable, pull away and distance himself. Mike probably noticed, how he was touchy-feely with everyone except for him, probably felt a little left out; but Bill refused to allow himself to feel satisfied for too long when it came to touching Mike, because he felt guilty most of the time if he even began to think about Mike as anything other than his friend. He knew that if he did, his mind would wander, and he’d begin to think about what it would be like to kiss Mike, to call him his boyfriend; and he would probably raise suspicion, and Mike would become uncomfortable around him. He didn’t want that.</p><p> </p><p>He <em> did</em>, however, think about what it would be like to kiss Mike and call him his boyfriend in his free time. He’d lay in bed and daydream about stroking his fingers over Mike’s cheekbone, pull him closer and slot their lips together, taste Jessica Hanlon’s homemade jam on his lips. He wanted it so bad, longed for it, <em> yearned </em> for it. He laid in bed at night and hoped and prayed that Mike would show up uninvited, climb through his window and gaze up at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling with him. Just Mike’s presence brought him so much comfort, swallowed him up in it, and he wanted to mold himself to Mike’s body and just stay there forever, breathing in the scent of <em> Mike.  </em></p><p> </p><p>He found himself looking over at Mike, taking in how his skin soaked up the sunlight spilling into the clubhouse from above, and how his lips pursed as he looked through their tape collection, most of them being Richie’s, some of them Ben’s.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to walk over right now and place both hands on Mike’s face, and pull him in for a kiss. He wanted to. So bad. But he couldn’t, because he’d mess everything up, and that was something that he <em> didn’t </em>want.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> God, I want to kiss you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Would you kiss me back if I did? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mike turned to meet Bill's eyes, like he could hear his thoughts, and Bill turned away, face flushed red and embarrassed that he’d been caught staring. He was probably so obvious, with all the staring he did. He was caught equally as much as he stared, mostly by the other losers, sometimes by Mike himself, but it always left him embarrassed and red in the face, looking down at his dirty converse and trying not to glance up again to see if whoever it was was still looking at him.</p><p> </p><p>Mike walked over, sitting down beside Bill and scooting in close, so their shoulders would be pressed together. “Don’t you just wish you would’ve stayed?” He asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Stayed? Wh- wuh- where?”</p><p> </p><p>“In Acadia. Don’t you wish you would’ve never come back?” Mike said, and Bill took a deep breath in through his nose, huffing it out sharply.</p><p> </p><p>“No. I w- wuh- wouldn’t want to leave and just n- never come b- buh- back when you g- guys are still here.” Bill mumbled, and Mike hummed, wrapping his arm around Bill’s shoulders. Bill froze and his eyes widened, nearly gasping, surprised. He relaxed eventually, though, slumping into Mike’s side and sighing contently.</p><p> </p><p>They sat like that for a while, music playing from the boombox, Bev and Stan looking through a fashion magazine together and talking about the models and the outfits, Richie and Eddie cuddling in the hammock like they usually did, Eddie with his chin resting on his hands, talking to Ben about going to the arcade tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>Bill could stay like this forever, with his friends surrounding him, with Mike’s arm around his shoulders, holding him close and making him feel safe and steady, content and satisfied.</p><p> </p><p>They went to the Aladdin a little later, putting together some money to buy them all tickets but no snacks, going to watch whatever new movie sounded interesting from just the name. It ended up being a boring horror movie that wasn't even really that scary. Richie seemed scared though, from the way he was yelping and sliding further and further down into his seat with every ‘scary’ part. Bill could see the way he grabbed Eddie’s hand subtly and held it tight. He chose not to say anything. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe he should lean over into Mike’s space and pretend to be scared. Maybe Mike would hold his hand or put an arm around him. They were in the back row. No one would see. He knew he was too chicken shit to actually do anything, and every time he even thought about making a move, he began to shake with anxiety and he recoiled internally, scolding himself because of course Mike wouldn’t want to hold his hand. Maybe Mike would come to the Aladdin with a nice girl someday, watch a horror movie with her, and put his arm around her freely without being held back by judgmental eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I hope not. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I hope you’ll hold my hand one day, Mikey. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hold my hand. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He pressed his knee to Mike’s keeping his eyes forward, forcing himself to watch the movie. Mike didn’t say anything. Bill hoped he would. Or maybe he <em> didn’t. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fuck, I don’t know. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I want to be near you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I want to be closer to you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That’s how they stayed, until the movie was over, knees pressed together. Bill figured he’d move away eventually, but he didn’t, and he grew a little hopeful.</p><p> </p><p>They all biked Beverly home, and then Richie, Eddie, Ben and Stan. They were nearing Bill’s house but Bill had no intention of stopping. Mike was the one who stopped, and Bike was quick to stop after he passed him. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re biking me home?” Mile asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Wuh- wasn’t th- that obvious?” </p><p> </p><p>Mike shrugged, beginning to pedal. “I just assumed that you wouldn’t want to - because, you know, your house is right here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of c- c-c ourse I wuh- wuh- w- want to, Mikey.”</p><p> </p><p>Mike smiled.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“C- cuh- come over later. After eleven.” Bill said.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. I will.” </p><p> </p><p>Bill smiled and biked off, waving back at Mike and trying his best to hurry so his dad wouldn’t be upset at him for staying out so late. The sun was setting, oranges and pink and yellows disappearing over the horizon just a little too fast. Time had to be working against him, because it was taking forever, like Silver didn’t want him to go home, like she wanted him to stay with Mike.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I want to stay with Mike, too.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He peddled faster, because the streetlights were beginning to switch on, and he was a few blocks away from his house. </p><p> </p><p>He hurried through the front door and huffed, breathing deeply to catch his breath. He tried to hurry up the stairs, but his dad caught him before he could, telling him to slow down. </p><p> </p><p>“Why were you out so late?” He asked, and he really couldn’t blame his dad, after what happened to Georgie. He had a right to be worried.</p><p> </p><p>“I luh- lost track of t- t- time.” Bill said, and his father sighed and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay. Just - don’t stay out too late again, okay?” He mumbled, and Bill nodded. His father kissed his forehead and let him pass. Bill climbed the stairs and stopped by his parent’s room, peeking in at his mother sitting in bed, reading a book.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, m- mo- mom.” Bill tried, and she barely glanced at him before looking back down at her book. “I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t say anything back, didn’t even look up from her book this time. He sighed and closed the door, trudging down the hallway. It still hurt, even after three years, her not talking to him after Georgie passed away. She hadn’t spoken a single word to him in three years, and sometimes he cried at night, because he was terrified of forgetting what the love of a mother felt like. He hoped. He hoped that one day she would love him again - or at least speak to him, just once. Just a few words. An ‘I love you, Bill’, or ‘How was your day?’</p><p> </p><p>He was running out of that hope.</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Hanlon was there, though. She always took him into her arms, and fed him dinner if he stayed over, kissed his head before she sent him off. He loved her with all his heart, and he never wanted to leave her, never wanted <em> her </em> to leave <em> him. </em> He wanted her to hold him forever, wanted to smell her flowery perfume all the time, wanted her to card her gentle fingers through his hair and scratch at his scalp with her red painted nails.</p><p> </p><p>Mike had her gentle and caring nature, kindness passed down to him through her.</p><p> </p><p>Mike was like both of his parents in some way; had his father’s looks, and had grown to be tall and strong, just like him, and had his mother’s personality, the tendency to do favors for others even when they hadn’t asked him, the way their hugs were always the best, always so warm and safe feeling.</p><p> </p><p>Will Hanlon was a good man, always ruffled Bill’s hair when he came over, asked how school was and actually took some interest in what he was talking about, sat patiently while he was speaking and didn’t rush him because of his stutter. Will was more of a father to him than his own father whenever he started going over to Mike house and got close to his parents, and then he passed away just last winter.</p><p> </p><p>Mike climbed through Bill’s window the night Will died in the hospital, and they cried in each other’s arms, with Bill swiping Mike’s tears away while shedding his own, holding each other tight. Bill had pulled Mike’s shoes off that night, and wiped his tears, holding him in his arms until around four am, when Mike said he should go because he had work to do early in the morning, and Bill waved him off. He didn’t get much sleep before he had to go to school, and was exhausted for the rest of the day, but it was all worth it because he got to be there for Mike when he needed him most.</p><p> </p><p>He sat down on his bed and tapped his feet against his floor, untying his shoes and toeing them off, sliding his hands under his thighs to stop from fidgeting.</p><p> </p><p>He was so ready for Mike to come through his window, watching his alarm clock with anticipation rushing through his veins. He was looking out his window every five minutes when ten thirty rolled around, and he eventually saw Mike biking up to his house at around ten fifty-five. Mike grabbed the ladder that was around the side of the garage and propped it against the roof. Bill slid his window up, quietly urging Mike to hurry, because he was so excited. Spending alone time with Mike, even if they were just sitting in a comfortable silence, was enough to make Bill giddy. Mike crawled through his window with ease, like he’d done so many times before, at this time of night. Sometimes he showed up unexpectedly, sometimes he woke Bill up out of his sleep accidentally while curling up next to him, and Bill would turn over and put an arm around him. </p><p> </p><p>Bill wrapped his arms around Mike and hugged him tight, burying his face in his neck and taking a deep breath. Mike carded his fingers through Bill’s hair, and Bill had to hold back a satisfied noise that threatened to erupt from his throat at the gentle gesture. He needed Mike, right now. Mike was always there for him, and he was always there for Mike; whenever Mike needed to come over and just let Bill hold him whenever he got depressed about his father’s recent passing, or whenever he just wanted someone to hold, someone to hold him that wasn’t his mother.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Bill.” Mike breathed, and Bill mumbled an incoherent greeting. “Happy to see me?” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Always. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill pulled back and his teeth caught his bottom lip, nodding slowly and looking down at his socks. He went red, but Mike probably couldn't see because of how dark it was in the room. Bill always got a little nervous when it was just him and Mike, and he mostly didn’t speak because of his stutter.</p><p> </p><p>“Stargaze with me?” Mike asked, and BIll nodded, laying down beside MIke on his bed and looking up at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. This was their thing, and as many times as they’ve just laid in Bill’s bed and looked up at those dim green stars, it never got old, and Bill never got tired of doing it with Mike.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you gonna go to the festival this year?” Mike asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Y- yuh- yeah. I w- worked up some m- muh- money, mowing the n- neighbors' lawns.” He said, and Mike hummed, sighing and looking up at the stars on the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I might go. I’ve never been before.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve r- really never b- been before?” Bill said, sitting up on his elbow.</p><p> </p><p>“Nah. I always just stay home.” Mike said, and glanced out the window. There was lightning in the distance, but no thunder. “It’s supposed to rain tonight. I’ll probably have to bike home in it.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Then don’t. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Stay. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Stay here, with me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I d- d- didn’t kn- know. If I wou- would’ve, then I wouldn’t h- ha- have asked yo- you to come over.” Bill said and Mike shook his head, smiling softly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ask him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ask him to stay. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, Bill. I wanted to come. I wouldn’t miss a chance to hang out with you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You make me feel so special. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“What’s a little rain?” Mike mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Stay. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Stay here.” Bill blurted out, surprising himself. “W- with me.” It came rushing out before he could catch himself, and Mike looked surprised for a second, before his face softened, and he smiled. </p><p> </p><p>“Just until the rain stops.”</p><p> </p><p>And it began to rain.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>They all met up for the festival a couple days later, with enough money to buy them each a wristband for all the rides and as many snacks as they wanted.</p><p> </p><p>They rode a few rides before Bill decided to make his move. He wanted to talk to Eddie, about what it was like being with a boy, what it was like to like boys, because he was a little scared. Scared of his crush on Mike, because Mike was a boy, and Bill had never felt like this with a boy before. He didn’t even feel close to this way with Beverly two years ago.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not gonna ride this ride. Every time I do, I get sick after. I’ll just watch.” Ben went to sit down on the bench in front of the ride, pulling out his Game Boy.</p><p> </p><p>“You gonna ride with me, Eds?” Richie asked, and Eddie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“I ww- wuh- wanna ride with Eddie.” Bill said, hooking his arm with Eddie’s and pulling him away from a complaining Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Does <em> anyone </em>want to ride with me?” Richie asked, and looked around at all their friends.</p><p> </p><p>“You scream on every ride. Eddie only likes riding with you because he’s in love with you and would do anything when it comes to you, Trashmouth.” Beverly said, and both Richie and Eddie blushed furiously. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll ride with you, Richie.” Stan said, taking a sip of his pepsi. “I rock the car, though. So, if you don’t like that, then you’ll just have to ride with someone you don’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie just shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“That just leaves you and me, Bev.” Mike said, and Bev threw her around around his shoulders, kissing him on the cheek.</p><p> </p><p>Bill and Eddie were the first pair in line out of their group, so they got in a car first. </p><p> </p><p>“This ride is fucking scary.” Eddie said, holding onto the padded bars in front of them.</p><p> </p><p>“This is mm- muh- my favorite ride.” Bill said and they heard Richie screaming at Stan to stop rocking the car from below them. Stan just laughed and told Richie to calm down.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s it luh- like?” Bill asked, “B- being wuh- with Richie?” </p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked to his left, through the lattice of the car and down at the other rides.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nice, you know. He’s not the kind of perfect boyfriend you would picture in your mind, because he’s a dork and he has all these flaws. But that’s what I love about him.” Eddie said, “I think I—“</p><p> </p><p>He looked down at his lap and, eyes wide like he was afraid of what he was about to say.</p><p> </p><p>“You th- think…” Bill encouraged him.</p><p> </p><p>“He kissed me first, but I always have to kiss him because he’s too nervous most of the time.” Eddie said, turning to Bill. “Do you think his braces would cut my tongue if we made out?”</p><p> </p><p>“Probably.” Bill said, and Eddie hummed.</p><p> </p><p>The ride began, and Eddie yelped, because the car rocked a little, and Bill laughed at him. They rode this ride every year, but Eddie never really got used to it. Bill, however, loved this ride, he liked rocking the car, and his favorite people to ride with were Stan and Mike, because they didn’t mind it when he did, even joined in.</p><p> </p><p>But right now, he wanted to talk to Eddie about how he was questioning his sexuality, and Eddie was the only person he could think of to talk about it to, because Eddie was with Richie. Richie and Eddie were the only queer people he knew and was close to, and Richie wasn’t good at advice at all, so all that was left was Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, god. I’m gonna fucking puke.” Eddie moaned, squeezing his eyes shut as the car flipped. </p><p> </p><p>“You s- s- say that every year!” Bill laughed, and Eddie groaned, pressing his head back against the seat cushion.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I might this time. I just had a funnel cake.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wait until the ride’s f- f- finished, then. Don’t hurl on me.” Bill grimaced, and Eddie made a small noise, pressing his lips together. </p><p> </p><p>Eddie began to complain as the ride stopped and went backwards, the second half beginning. Bill glanced over to make sure Eddie wasn’t about to throw up. He <em> did </em>look a little pale, and Bill just hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t let go while they were riding, because that wouldn’t end well at all.</p><p> </p><p>He could hear Richie screaming, and Beverly’s braying laugh. Richie was cursing up a storm, swearing like a sailor and screaming at Stan that he was going to kill him when they got off this ride, and Bill had to laugh to himself.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was complaining and moaning about how much he wanted this ride to end, his breathing becoming deeper, probably to keep himself from vomiting.</p><p> </p><p>The second half of this ride was always the worst.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as the ride stopped, Eddie covered his mouth with his hand, squeezing his eyes shut. The operator let them out, and Eddie ran over to a trash can, hunching over it. Bill stayed by his side and put a hand on his back, watching as Richie and Stan got off, and Richie jogged over. </p><p> </p><p>“What happened? Is he okay?” He asked, and Bill shrugged his shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>“The r- r- ride made him sick. He pr- probably won’t b- be riding it next year.” Bill said, and they switched spots, Richie rubbing Eddie’s back as Bill stayed back for support. Richie ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair, scratching his scalp lightly, and Bill was jealous. Just a little. He wished he and Mike could be like that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why can’t me and Mike be like that? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I wish. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie decided that he wasn’t going to ride anymore rides, and Richie followed right after him and said he wasn’t going to, either.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to stop riding because I'm going to, Rich.” Eddie said as they sat down at a picnic table. </p><p> </p><p>“But I want to, Eddie dear.” </p><p> </p><p>Eddie turned away, blushing and smiling. “I’m gonna go get a drink.” He said, quickly, and stood up, scurrying off to get in line at one of the stands. </p><p> </p><p>Richie watched him, his face flushed, also. He brought his hand up to his mouth, biting his fingernails and turning to look at the wood of the table.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck was all that?” Beverly asked, and Stan began to laugh, loud, turning a few heads.</p><p> </p><p>“God… leave me alone.” Richie said, taking his glasses off and pulling his hair down over his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re fucking <em> gone, </em>that’s for sure.” Stan said, shoving Richie’s shoulder and making him nearly fall over.</p><p> </p><p>“Will you guys stop? This is embarrassing…” Richie mumbled, covering his mouth and watching as Eddie came back with lemonade.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I might go on the ferris wheel.” Eddie said as he sat down, sipping his lemonade. He leaned into Richie’s side, and Richie visibly tensed. He eventually relaxed, snaking an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and pulling him a little closer.</p><p> </p><p>They were cute. The happy little couple. As happy as they could be in this town. </p><p> </p><p>Bill envied them, really.</p><p> </p><p>He glanced over to Mike, who was leaning over the table to watch Ben play his game boy, smiling and pointing as he helped Ben out with the game.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Would you put your arm around me like that? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mike turned his head to Bill, like he heard him, and he smiled. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> God. You’re gorgeous. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’re perfect. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill smiled back, and Mike stood up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Is he coming to sit beside me? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mike sat down beside him, scooting in close, their thighs touching. “Do you wanna ride the ferris wheel with me?” He asked, and Bill lost his breath. Mike asked him to ride the ferris wheel with him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It’ll be so awkward. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Y- yuh- yes.” </p><p> </p><p>Mike smiled, pressing his shoulder to Bill’s.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>They got in line for the ferris wheel, beside their riding partners, talking amongst themselves, laughing at Richie as he tried to sit on the railing that cut the line off from everyone else, but just ended up falling over the other side and landing on his butt in the dirt. Stan was the only one scared of the ferris wheel - said he hated how the car rocked and how there was only a single bar to hold them in. He helped Richie up from the other side, slapping him on the back encouragingly as he apologized softly and scratched at the back of his head.</p><p> </p><p>When he got back in line with the rest of them, Eddie ruffled his hair and smiled up at him, making him smile back and turn away with a red face.</p><p> </p><p>“I th- think I luh- like boys.” Bill whispered in Eddie’s ear, and Eddie’s eyebrows rose.</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” He said, and Bill nodded. “That’s great, Bill!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, b- but don’t t- tell anyone, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you two talking about over here?” Richie almost yelled, and Eddie turned to him with a look that shut him up.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing that concerns you.” Eddie said playfully, and Richie smiled and leaned into his space, throwing an arm over his shoulder, kissing his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“But I'm just dyin’ to know, Eddie baby. Just simply dyin’!” He put on a southern accent, and Eddie laughed and leaned up to cup his hand near his mouth, whispering something in Richie’s ear that made his eyes widen. When Eddie pulled back, he grinned and nodded, glancing around them, probably to see if anyone heard.</p><p> </p><p>Bill couldn’t help but feel like they were talking about him, and when Eddie turned back, he silently asked with a furrow of his brows and a little towards Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, no. I wouldn’t do that, Billy.” Eddie said, pushing his shoulder and making him smile. “I told Richie that I’d kiss him on the ferris wheel if he shut up.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kissing on the ferris wheel. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I want to kiss Mike on the ferris wheel. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“How rom- m- m- mantic.” Bill elbowed Eddie in the ribs, and Eddie smiled down at the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I guess.” </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t too long before they were boarding the ferris wheel, Richie with Eddie, Ben with Beverly, and Bill with Mike. </p><p> </p><p>Bill was so nervous. Riding the ferris wheel with Mike was going to be such a hassle, because people always kiss on the ferris wheel, and he wanted so bad to kiss Mike right now.</p><p> </p><p>Stan blew them all a kiss from the ground and waved, a wide, mischievous smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Ferris wheels are so scary,” Mike said, looking over the side quickly before sliding a little closer to Bill.</p><p> </p><p>“Y- y- you’re scared of the f- ferris wheel, t- too?”</p><p> </p><p>Mike shrugged, “A little. It’s so high up.” he mumbled. “Like, if it were to fall apart, the people on top would probably die or get seriously injured.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill glanced over to Mike’s hand, holding tightly onto the bar keeping them in.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> If you’re scared, hold my hand. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hold my hand. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill slid his hand over a little, keeping his eyes away from Mike’s. He touched his pinky to Mike’s knuckles, and he could feel Mike’s gaze across his skin, burning holes into his cheek. He forced himself to keep his eyes on the people below them, scared that if he looked, Mike would be disgusted that Bill wanted to hold his hand. It was such an intimate thing, holding hands on the ferris wheel, just the two of you as it went around and around.</p><p> </p><p>Mike opened his palm for Bill to slide his fingers between Mike’s, and Bill did, his heartbeat picked up even more than it had before he touched Mike’s hand. He could feel it in his ears, blood rushing to his face, a flush crawling up his neck, over his ears. </p><p> </p><p>Mike moved their hands so they’d be between them, resting on the seat, hidden from everyone else.</p><p> </p><p>There wasn’t much said between them, they rode in silence, hand in hand, silently hoping no one would see them holding hands.</p><p> </p><p>The ferris wheel stopped, the operators letting people off at the bottom, and they were at the very top. Bill turned to Mike, and Mike was already looking at him. Everything but Mike was completely blocked out, he couldn’t hear anything around him, eyes completely focused on Mike. Their faces were too close, way too close. Bill was beginning to lose himself. He glanced down at Mike’s lips, and Mike must’ve noticed, because he did the same to Bill’s, and oh, my god, was Mike leaning in?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Is he going to kiss me? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill panicked, turning away and looking out at the rides and people walking below them. Mike didn’t say anything, so Bill didn’t, either; and the ride began to move again.</p><p> </p><p>When they got off, Bill was sprinting away before anyone could call his name or stop him. He went all the way to the restrooms, on the other side of the park. He needed to calm himself down, because he could feel tears springing to his eyes and his breathing picking up. He had no idea why he was so upset.</p><p> </p><p>He skipped the line of people with a few protests from them, and locked himself in a stall. He slid to the floor and bursted out in tears. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’ve never let a boy make me this distressed in my fucking life. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What’s with the change? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why do I feel this way? </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Why do I </em> feel <em> this way? </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I think I love him and I don’t know what to do. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why do I feel this way about him? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He sobbed outright, not even bothering to hold back the abrupt noises. Someone knocked on the stall, “Bill? I know you’re in there. Let me in, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Richie Tozier was always there when you needed him.</p><p> </p><p>Bill brought a shaky hand up to the sliding lock, unlocking it and letting Richie come in. Richie sat down in front of him, face soft.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened?” He asked, and Bill shrugged, more tears sliding freely down his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Mm- muh- me and M- Mike h- held hands.” He whispered, hiding his face and sniffling harshly.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that why you’re upset?”</p><p> </p><p>Bill shook his head, “I c- c- couldn’t stop th- thinking ab- b- b- b- bout kissing him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Richie said, looking away. He leaned forward and basically pulled Bill into his lap, wrapping his arms around him in a hug. “It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill cried even harder, and Richie just held him tighter, because obviously Richie knew that what he needed most right now was some support. Bill was probably wetting Richie's shirt and getting snot all over it, but Richie didn’t seem to care, just shushed Bill softly and ran his fingers through his hair.</p><p> </p><p>Richie might not have been good at advice, but he was good at affection.</p><p> </p><p>They sat like that for a while, Richie with his arms around Bill as Bill pressed his face into his shoulder and cried.</p><p> </p><p>Bill eventually pulled away, wiping at his nose and apologizing for wetting Richie’s shirt. Richie just brushed it off and stood up to help him up, throwing an arm over his shoulder and walking him all way the way back over to the group like that.</p><p> </p><p>They went back over to the picnic tables, and Bill rested his head in Ben’s lap. He really couldn’t look at Mike, and he didn’t know why. Maybe he was a little embarrassed that he ran off like he did. Maybe he blamed Mike for being so fucking gorgous and beautiful and breathtaking and just overall fucking <em> perfect </em>in every way.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t blame Mike. He was upset over his own shit.</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t stay too much longer after that, the ferris wheel and Bill running away just ruined the mood, Bill guessed. Bev gave him a kiss on the cheek and a smile before she biked off, Ben following close behind her after she asked him to bike her home. Richie and Eddie left together, after Eddie gave Bill a hug and Richie gave him a pat on the back and a smile. Stan stayed around for a while, standing with Bill and Mike just outside the festival entrance, asking both of them if they wanted to go birdwatching with him sometime. They both agreed, obviously, because birdwatching with Stan was sort of calming and refreshing, hearing him speak so passionately about something he loved.</p><p> </p><p>Whenever Stan left, it was just Bill and Mike, sitting in silence and watching the sun go down slowly. It was only around six pm, and the sun wouldn’t set completely for another two and a half hours, but it was nice to watch the sky change colors.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry I held your hand.” Mike said softly, suddenly.</p><p> </p><p>“N- no- nothing to be s- sorry for.” Bill smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“I just kinda figured that was why you were upset. So, I thought I’d apologize.”</p><p> </p><p>“It w- w- wasn’t. I’d hold your h- hand anyday, Mikey.” Bill threw his leg over Silver and Mike grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Will you come over later? You know my mom goes to sleep at nine.” Mike said.</p><p> </p><p>“Yuh- yeah. Of course, Mikey.”</p><p> </p><p>Mike smiled and gave Bill a hug, waving as he biked in the opposite direction of Bill, towards the outskirts of Derry.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Later that night, Bill picked up small pebbles from the dirt road of the Hanlon farm and tossed them up at Mike’s window, missing some, and hitting some. Mike came to the window eventually, smiling down at him and pushing the window up. </p><p> </p><p>“You came.” He said, like he couldn’t believe it.</p><p> </p><p>“W- why wouldn’t I?” Bill laughed, going to retrieve the ladder from behind their house and propping it against the side of the house, leading right up to Mike’s open window. He climbed quickly, skipping over a step and tripping over the frame of the window as he crawled through.</p><p> </p><p>Mike laughed and helped him up, covering his own mouth to stifle the laughter that bubbled up from his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re so clumsy.” He teased, and Bill grumbled, collapsing onto the bed. </p><p> </p><p>Mike layed down beside him, and he smelled so good. He probably just took a shower. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I want to be closer to you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill took a deep breath and moved a little closer, and now he was <em> really </em> in Mike’s bubble. Maybe Mike would become uncomfortable and move away, maybe he wouldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t move away.</p><p> </p><p>He moved to lay on his side, instead, so Bill did the same, resting his head on his hand. Mike smiled at him, and Bill couldn’t help but gaze into his eyes. He could feel himself move a little closer, but he doesn’t remember doing it, he doesn’t remember moving <em> at all. </em></p><p> </p><p>Their faces were close, maybe a little too close, but Bill didn’t care. He <em> couldn’t</em>. All he could think about was the three inches of distance it would take to just lean forward and feel Mike’s lips against his. He needed to pull away, because he knew this must seem too intimate, but he couldn’t. He <em> couldn’t. </em> He wanted this. He wanted <em> Mike</em>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I want you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He leaned forward, tilting his head to the side to press his lips against Mike’s. It was just a simple kiss, a press of lips, but, god, did Bill lose himself in it. For a moment, he didn’t feel anything, didn’t feel happy, or confused, or regretful. He only felt Mike’s lips, Mike’s lips against his. </p><p> </p><p>He pulled away, looking at Mike in the eyes, his own fluttering a bit, still a little flustered. Then, he gasped and sat up, realizing what he’d just done.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I just kissed Mike. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, I—“</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I just ruined everything. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He’s going to hate me now, and I'm going to lose him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Bill…” Mike said, sitting up, too.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, i’m s- s- s- sorry, Mikey. I didn’t mm- muh- mean to.” Bill scrambled up off the bed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Run away, run away, run away. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Bill. It’s okay.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Run before he can hurt you first. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.” He said, bolting for the window and sliding out of it with Mike calling his name, loud but quiet. </p><p> </p><p>Bill biked through tears, trying his best to blink them out of his eyes. He fucked everything up. That was it.</p><p> </p><p>He grabbed the ladder from the shed and set it up against the roof, climbing as fast as he could and pushing his window open, wiping the tears from his face as he climbed in. He collapsed onto his bed, sobbing violently into his pillow and kicking his feet against his mattress because he was so fucking <em> angry</em>. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why did I do that?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Why did I</em> do <em>that?</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why did I fucking do that? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He cried for another hour, until he was too exhausted to cry anymore, just staring up at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. He sniffled quietly, wondering what the fuck he was going to do if he wanted to fix all of this.</p><p> </p><p>He sat up to untie his shoes and pulled them off, tossing them away and pulling his shirt up, sliding his shorts down and getting underneath his blanket. He sighed and hoped that Mike would come up to him first, or that Mike went after him, and was going to climb through his window any second now.</p><p> </p><p>He pressed his fingers to his lips, trying to remember the feel of Mike’s kiss, his lips against Bill’s. His mind was so clouded, he couldn’t think of anything other than him fucking everything up.</p><p> </p><p>He fell asleep with Mike on his mind, eyes closing around the image of the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling, pressing his palm into the mattress where Mike always layed and stargazed with him.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Bill woke up to a knocking on his window, and he pulled the covers over his head, groaning and turning over.The knocking got louder, and Bill groaned and threw the covers off, rubbing his eyes and forcing himself to open them against the harsh morning light.</p><p> </p><p>Mike was outside his window, a small smile on his face as he waited for Bill to come and open the window.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m so glad you came after me first. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill knew he wouldn’t have had the balls to go to Mike first, so he was glad Mike took one for the team.</p><p> </p><p>He slid his window up, standing back so Mike could come through. He stood against the wall awkwardly, waiting for Mike to say something first.</p><p> </p><p>“Bill, I…” He began, “I’m kinda getting mixed signals from you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You always look at me like - how you’re looking at me right now. And then you hold my hand, and you kiss me… but you always run away.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Because I’m scared. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you like me?” Mike’s voice was small, gentle, and he stepped closer. “You always make me feel really special. Like, when you told me you missed me that day you came back from Acadia. And then you just… take it back.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I do. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I do like you, Mikey. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I think I love you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m s- s- sorry, I - I just thought y- you didn’t feel the s- s- same. Th- th- that’s why I r- ran away.” Bill said, taking a few steps forward. Mike brought a hand up to cup Bill’s cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t have to.” Mike said, pulling Bill closer. Bill went with it, mindlessly, resting his face further into Mike’s palm. “You could’ve stayed.”</p><p> </p><p>Bill put his hand on top of Mike’s, pressing it into his face a little more, letting his eyes flutter shut. He wouldn’t speak. He’d let Mike do the talking - because he knew if he did, he’d just stutter and wouldn’t be able to get anything out.</p><p> </p><p>“I would’ve kissed you. I would’ve told you how much I like you, and how much I want to be with you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why would you want to be with me? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I'm just… me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Bill gaped up at him, “Y- y- you ww- wuh- want to buh- be with mm- <em> me</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“Who doesn’t?” Mike mumbled, and Bill smiled softly, letting his eyes flutter shut as he thought about what it would be like to be Mike’s boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>They’d probably go to the Aladdin and sit in the back row and kiss, hold hands and share popcorn. Or, they’d go to a diner and share a milkshake, two straws, and giggle along with each other, stealing kisses when no one’s looking. Maybe they’d have a picnic, in the field behind the Hanlon’s farm, a blanket under them, feeding each other fruits, kissing and tasting the sweet juice on each other’s tongues.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I want to be with you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mike’s eyes hadn’t left him by the time he opened his eyes, and Mike grinned down at him, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kiss me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Y- you know how you s- s- said that you w- would’ve kissed me if I st- stayed?” Bill said, and Mike nodded. “You c- could kiss me now.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Please. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Please, kiss me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mike curled a hand around his waist, pulling him closer and leaning down. Their lips met, and oh, my god, his life had never been more colorful. Kissing Mike was like a dream come true, and he never expected it to happen, not like this. Not with Mike wanting to kiss him, not with him initiating it. He just supposed that one day he would have to suck it up and get over him because Mike would never love him back, but maybe, just maybe - Mike was falling for Bill like Bill was falling for him.</p><p> </p><p>God, he hoped he was.</p><p> </p><p>Bill melted into him, holding onto his shoulders for support, because his legs felt like jelly. Mike pulled him impossibly closer, so their chests were pressed together, his hand burning hot against the skin of Bill’s cheek. Kissing Mike was like heaven, because he was such a good kisser, and he held Bill close, caressed his face with those gentle hands, pressed soft kisses to Bill’s lips and made him feel like he was floating, like the floor was falling from under him and Mike was holding him up with the sealing of his lips and the promise of his kiss.</p><p> </p><p>Mike pulled away, but Bill stayed the same, eyes closed and lips puckered.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> God, I’m going fucking insane. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Mike just kissed me, and I kissed him back. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He let his eyes flutter open, and Mike was looking down at him with the most adoring eyes, and small smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you kn- know how l- <em> long </em> I’ve been ww- wuh- waiting for that?” Bill said, and Mike laughed and shook his head. “ <em> So long</em>, Mikey.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well you don’t have to wait anymore, now, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I think I love you. </em>
</p>
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